Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
