OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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