Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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