That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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