Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
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