She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
