Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Randomize
