i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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