I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Randomize
