the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
