I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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