In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Alive.
So much puke
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Randomize
