I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Are we still banned from the library?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize
