We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
