was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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