I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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