Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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