Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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