Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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