my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
