This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
be right there i have to get my cape
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Randomize
