then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
You pole danced in your parka.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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