He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
