And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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