um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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