Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I don't deserve a penis
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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