i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I forgot wine drunk hurts
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
