my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
