Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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