When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize