Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
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