he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
