I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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