its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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