Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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