We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Randomize