oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
