you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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