Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
