Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just blew my weed a kiss
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
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