I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
