Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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