Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
