NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
