I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
