god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
i would punch a child for taco bell
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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