Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
