The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Randomize
