Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
