Non-Jews are for practice
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
