We need to rekindle our bromance
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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