Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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