Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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