I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
