alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
